Tuesday, November 13, 2012

I have a stranger on my Facebook......

    I am a fan of Facebook.  When I signed up, years ago, I thought it was a great way to stay connected and to share the happenings of my life and family with those that I care about.  Inevitably though, if you have been on Facebook long enough, you will get friend requests from people you don't know and some dubious types at that.  This is my story of being that guy.

     I was still new to Facebook at the time.  I had a kick-ass farm on Farmville that was raking in the virtual dollars every day, and I was still building my circle of acquaintances and friends.  I came back to my hotel late one night and rushed over to check my crops and I noticed a witty comment from a friend of my daughter's who had gone away to college in a Southeastern State.  After commenting, I noticed that his sister had commented as well and we weren't Facebook friends yet, so I friend requested her.  As I sat there a little longer, my eyes adjusted to the room and the lighting and I looked again at the comment, and realized that it wasn't his sister that made the comment, it was a girl with the same first name and a last name that started with the same letter, but it wasn't his sister, it was just a random student that attended his college, and I had just friend requested her, Ooops.  I had never made this mistake before, so I looked for the "Retract" button, but didn't find one, the "Cancel" button, Nope, the "I Really Didn't Mean It, I'm Old and Need Glasses" button, still no dice.  That young college girl was going to get the friend request, from a 40 guy sitting in his hotel room 6 States away, whether I wanted her to or not.  I suddenly flashed on every episode of "To Catch a Predator" on Dateline NBC with Chris Hansen, and I wondered how long it would be before they knocked on my hotel door.  I could see my answers to the interview questions and I imagined it going as well as every other interview I'd seen on there......

"I didn't realize she was only 18 when I friend requested her"
"I thought she was another person I knew, What? Oh the other girl is 19"
"I was drinking and planting corn when I friend requested her"

It all kept sounding worse and worse to me, but I consoled myself that night by saying, "she probably won't accept the request anyway"  That worked, until the next morning, when she did.  Hooray, I have a friend, with no connection to me, that I never intended to have.  What to do?

     Any normal person would have just deleted or Unfriended her immediately, I realize.  If you were under the impression that I am anything close to being a normal person, then you haven't read enough of these blogs.  I knew from her profile that she was new at college and she was a New Englander, so I decided to try and do it after a bit of time had passed.  I didn't know her frame of mind when she accepted the request, but I do know how hard it is to go away to school and try and fit in, so I wasn't going to upset that delicate balance by dumping her like that.  I think everyone has to wonder why they got Unfriended on FB when it happens, I don't care how cavalier you say you are about it, but when someone that wanted you to be part of their circle, suddenly doesn't anymore, any emotional person would wonder what they might have done to deserve that.  I wasn't going to do that to this freshman girl in her new college trying to fit in.  I resolved myself to finding the "right time" to remove her from my list.

      I'd check her statuses randomly, but there never seemed to be a good time to do it.  She was homesick one time, she had bombed a test another, her High School boyfriend Tucker and her broke up shortly thereafter, but I kept trying.  At some point, I did get sucked into this complete stranger's life and imagined I knew what she was going through.  She suddenly changed schools and ended up transferring to a college in her home State.  That wasn't a good time to do it.  More time passed and I caught a status of hers that she was back from a semester abroad, Darn it, that would have been the perfect time, but I missed my window.  Soon she was out of school and looking for work, not a good time, probably living at home again.  She recently became certified to teach Kripalu Yoga, but isn't doing it yet (I don't know what that is, but it sounds painful).  I caught a comment this week that she is heading to Asia shortly, so I'll have my opportunity to finally do it.  Truthfully though, I'm not sure I've got the stones to separate us.  She still makes the occasional comment on my page or likes my status, and I've gotten interested in her story.  Small town girl goes off to school, comes back home, travels abroad, finds enlightenment, and then travels some more. I kind of want to know the end of the story now.  Will Tucker come back?  Will she move to a marijuana friendly State (she's kind of a granola head liberal)? Get married? Have kids?  There is a whole blank page in front of her, and now I am interested.  We started as strangers, and we've never met, but through Facebook we know a lot about each other now.  You'll have to decide whether this makes me a 47 year old Facebook Creeper, or just a nice guy who got caught up in another human being's life and loves, and you'll have to take the appropriate action.  If you decide to Unfriend me though, can you wait until next week? 


5 comments:

Brother Mike said...

loved the ending

Kim Constantino said...

Awesome! :)Really well done!

cdyarger said...

You have a gift! It's no wonder strangers want to be friends with you!

Gayle Hendershot said...

Through my fat fingers, I friended a friend of my older son's who I have never actually spoken to by mistake. I was trying to friend a girl my younger son was going on a date with. That really does make me a middle aged creeper, doesn't it? They both accepted by the way ;)

MamaLoca said...

One can never have enough friends.