An ode to the alarm clock at the Hampton Inn
The sale has been made and the hour is late,
the day hangs on me like a leaden weight,
where I hope to soon lay down my head,
a last glance back to the lock on the door,
to insure that my slumber will be secure,
then as I start to untuck the covers,
what is this that my eye now discovers?
The glowing red time on the nightstand is wrong,
Is says 6:03, but that time is long gone.
I sigh as I realize, I've been here before,
why the maids do not check this, I'm really not sure?
but experience tells me I'm in for a fight,
cuz it got lots of buttons to ponder tonight,
there's 2 buttons to set the alarm to and fro,
and volume adjust buttons located below,
there's an alarm on and off on the face, to each side
these all seem important to not try and hide,
there's a radio on and there's just a plain, Enter
The last buttons there lets you adjust your station,
Can you see now why I've got all this frustration?
The instructions emblazoned and so clearly imprinted,
are all alarm focused, could it kill them to have hinted?
At how to set the damn correct time?
or at least sync the zone with meridian Prime?
I check out the top and there's no relief there,
it's a big row of buttons and now I don't care,
A check of one side shows a total blank pane,
I'm ten minutes in and I'm going insane, '
on how to plug in my music devices,
but I've got no help in my ongoing mission
to set the right time and for help I am wishin'
I could call the front desk, but they always will stammer
That the maintenance man can come up with his hammer,
but it's very late now and I've got no affection
for men from "the slow and incompetent" section.
I've got no time for those endless delays,
and besides I'm attired in only PJ's.
As a last ditch effort I check the back and the bottom,
But as to instructions, it still doesn't got 'em.
I next randomly try all the odd combinations,
but all I can change is alarms and the stations.
I grab my Iphone and place it aside me,
to the correct time, I know it will guide me,
I turn the clock round, and I give up the fight,