You've probably seen me at some point with my dollar store glasses perched on my nose, scanning a bar bill or a menu in a darkly lit restaurant. I've needed them for about 10 years now and it seems like I am needing them now, more frequently. It started innocently enough, reading the paper in bed at 10 o'clock at night and the type was starting to get blurry. At my wife's urging (she was tired of, "what's that word, Honey?"), I went to see the eye doctor, the real kind, not the fake kind.
My cheaters worked really well for a while and their use was limited to my bedside, helping my fatigued eyes see the small print. This was true right up until people at work started to send me things in 8 and 10 font. I know that this will seem ironic coming from a guy who just filled a page talking about his need for glasses, but seriously, if you are at work, and you keep having to reduce the font so your thoughts will fit on a page.....say less. We old folks will appreciate it more.
I had moved up to a 1.5 magnification by then, funny how that happens, and I started to buy them a dozen at a time. If I forgot them on a trip or something it would cost me $20 at the airport or a drugstore to replace them with a more expensive, but not better, pair of cheaters. Those broke just as easy as the dollar store ones did. Speaking of traveling, I can tell you that one of my greatest pet peeves is that hotels feel the need to put their brand on the shampoo/conditioner/mouthwash/body lotion in larger letters than the words that tell me what is actually in the bottles. I already know I'm at the Hilton, but can you tell me what the hell is in this bottle?
|My current theory on my bad vision. back off, and you'll see it...|
|My shampoo at home|
I'll have to stop opining about eyeglasses now, less I have to change the font so it will all fit on this page. I'll close where I started, talking about dimly lit restaurants. What I used to find romantic, I now find annoying. There is nothing worse than being escorted to a dark corner of a restaurant, and then getting a menu typed in a small font. If you ask sometimes they'll bring an extra candle to you, to help, but it rarely does. Inevitably the darkness creates a lot more questions for the waitress like "What's your favorite dish here?" or "Say I wanted to order an appetizer and I liked meat...." or "can you repeat the 12 side dishes again for me?". If I worked at this type of place I'd buy a miner's helmet, just for older, big tippers like me. Would I wear it? See below for my next anticipated purchase, I wonder if I can trade a barely used $300 pair of eyeglasses for it?
|They don't have these at the Dollar Store yet, but when they do.......|